My Journey with WORDLE: A Game of Words and Anxiety

Discovering the Challenge of WORDLE

You all know what WORDLE is, the online word game now owned by the NYT (New York Times). In this game, you guess a five-letter word with six attempts allowed while yelling out four letter words. As you guess, the game helps you by showing whether a certain vowel or consonant is in the hidden word. In some cases, it even indicates if the letter is in the correct position. This game has been all the rage for about 4-5 years now. The interweb says it started in October of 2021, during the pandemic. Makes sense. What else were we going to do? Shave our armpits?

For years, I’ve heard people talk about WORDLE—at work, at home, and even at coffee shops. Yet, I never dared to try it myself. I’ve always been afraid. I like to think of myself as a smart guy. I have a law degree and spend my days writing and reading complex material. You would think a word game would be natural for me, right? Wrong. I have always struggled with word games like SCRABBLE and WORDS WITH FRIENDS. When I play SCRABBLE, the only words I can come up with are simple ones like THE, TO, and DIK. The longest word I’ve ever scored in SCRABBLE is COWMILK, which isn’t even a real word.

When I am under pressure, my mind freezes. I can’t think of the right words. This fear has kept me from trying WORDLE for years.

A Tarot Card Reader's Advice

No more! Last night, on a whim, I visited a tarot card reader on 300 South in Salt Lake City. She told me I needed to try hard things or I would be cornered by the hard things I had never attempted. I was confused. I do lots of hard things. I have stage IV lung cancer and have faced my mortality bravely for more than two years. I’ve lost both my parents and my step-mom recently, facing their final illnesses with courage.

I racked my brain. What was I withholding from myself? I’ve never been parasailing, ridden a bullet bike on the freeway, or signed up for an MMA match. I’ve never intentionally pooped my pants in a crowded movie theater. I’ve never jumped into an open manhole. Could this be what the sorceress meant? Did I need to do dangerous things?

No, that can’t be right. Most people don’t fight in MMA or jump into manholes. It must be something more specific to me—something I was afraid of, something that didn’t make sense to fear. After much thought, I realized she was telling me to play WORDLE. When I came to this realization, I broke out in a cold sweat. My armpits filled with clammy moisture, and my forehead dripped with sweat. I was so fearful of these word games!

Taking the Plunge

Finally, after several hours of self-soothing and two Benadryl tablets, my mind slowed down. I decided I would try WORDLE. I CAN DO HARD THINGS! I walked down the street from my condo to a coffee shop, a place where I could concentrate and have a good chance of winning at WORDLE.

I prepare emotionally and spiritually to begin my first ever game of WORDLE

I opened the NYT app on my laptop and clicked on the WORDLE icon. Deep breaths. Tight colon. Poo-poo pants. The game opened. I pondered for fifteen minutes. Apparently, I needed to select a starter word—a five-letter word. I had heard so much about this strategy! It’s designed to identify the largest number of vowels and consonants, giving the player a leg-up in guessing the word within the allowed tries.

One friend at work talks about using ADIEU as a starter because it has four vowels. Another swears by ARISE for its two popular consonants. The word TEARS is good too, says Brent at work, with two vowels and three consonants. But I think Brent used to beat his wife so I ignore his advice.

My mind went blank. I thought of the word BARF, but that has only four letters. I was tempted to type in ARISE, but if I was going to do this, I had to do it my own way. I wanted to learn and face my fears honestly.

The Starter Word Dilemma

So, what word to use?

I was getting anxious. My mind felt dry and hard. This is why I don’t play these games. I write all day, but put me on the spot, and I can’t think of the right thing to say. I needed to come up with a five-letter word, ideally one with one or two vowels.

At the coffee shop, I looked out the window. Big garbage cans overflowed with trash. People walked to the bar next door. A barber shop sat across the way. A couple walked their dog. Rashly, I typed in the word:

PUPPY

and hit enter. I felt proud of myself. PUPPY has two vowels (if you include the Y) and the well-used consonant P. Surely, PUPPY is a clever starter word. If the secret word is PROUD, PLUGS, or PRIDE, I would get it in two tries!

I waited for the game to respond. Deep breaths, tight colon.

The game responded with a green P in the first space, meaning the word definitely starts with P! The third space was also a green P, meaning the word has P in the third position as well!

So ... PXPXX, where X represents the unknown letters. Not bad! Two letters in the right place on the first try. I felt like a natural! PUPPY was indeed a great starter word!

The Next Guesses

I thought for a while. I remembered a vacation my wife and I took to Rome. I typed in PAPAL in honor of the pope of course.

Again, the game responded the same way, with a green P in the first and third position: PXPXX.

This was upsetting. My second entry didn’t reveal any additional vowels or consonants. I was horrible at this game! I was going to fail! I felt super anxious and sweaty. I wished I had never been born.

Upset, I typed in the word:

SHITS

Take that, NYT editors! Miraculously, the game converted the final S to a green S, showing me that the last letter in the fifth position is definitely an S. What luck! Now I had three letters in the correct position!

So now I had:

PXPXS

Where P and P and S are the correct letters in their correct position! And each X represents a letter I don't know yet. I remembered being a kid, helping my dad install sprinklers in the front yard. Dad is so wise and patient. He carefully moved everything into place. How did he know how to do this?

Excitedly, I typed in the word PIPES! Surely this is the answer!

Almost, so close! The game turned the E in the fourth position green. Now I had:

PXPES

And two guesses still to go! Was I a natural or what? Maybe I was the smartest person to ever play this silly game! Should I have been a codebreaker during WWII?

Now, more than anything, I needed to be careful and deliberate. I had only two guesses left, and I was sure the game would show me no mercy if I messed up.

The Final Guess

I let my mind wander over PXPES, trying to find something unusual. At last, it came to me like lightning! I remembered my eleventh-grade biology class, where our teacher, Mr. Schluppe, lectured us about insects. He loved talking about metamorphosis.

I closed my eyes and imagined the classroom. He kept using the word PUPA. A pupa is the insect at the in-between stage, between larva and adult. Yes! That must be it.

But PUPA has only four letters, and my word must have an E in the fourth position.

But PUPA is singular! What is the plural of PUPA? It must be PUPES, right? Yes, that’s right!!!

Quickly, I typed PUPES into WORDLE. Surely this is correct!

Wrong! The game returned the same as before: PXPES. I was no closer to the actual word than I was one guess ago. Only one guess left! What could the word be?

At this point, I was tempted to get on the internet and type: "today's WORDLE." I couldn’t afford to lose this first game. If I did, my anxiety around word games would only grow stronger.

I thought back to my earlier guess, PAPAL. That was a great guess. Maybe it wasn’t that far from being correct. I remembered when Kim and I visited the Vatican. The tour guide talked about how "pope" comes from "papa" or "pappa."

Could this be the secret word? Well, no, it has only four letters.

But again, Pape is singular, so what if I used the plural?

Quickly, I entered PAPES into the game.

I held my breath and looked away from the computer. I couldn’t bear to be wrong. After a moment, I returned my gaze to my screen.

WRONG again.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

The game showed that I was out of guesses. My final entry remained the same: PXPES. I had failed to get any closer.

The Reveal

Now the game displayed the correct answer at the top of the screen: POPES.

Oh no, how stupid can I be? I had PAPAL, PAPES, and PIPES. How did I not think of POPES? It was so obvious!

I looked around the coffee shop, fearfully. Did anyone just see me lose? No one seemed to notice. I hurriedly closed my laptop. No one had to know about this. This never happened. My instinct to avoid word games was correct; the sorceress was wrong!

Never again must I play this game. If I do, I risk exposure as a fraud and a dork.

Lessons Learned

The experience was a rollercoaster of emotions. I faced my fears, but the outcome was not what I had hoped for. Yet, I learned something valuable: sometimes, trying new things can be daunting, but it’s essential for growth.

Embracing Challenges

Perhaps one day, I will gather the courage to play WORDLE again. Until then, I will stick to writing and reading—my comfort zone.

The Importance of Trying

Trying new things is crucial for personal development. It pushes us out of our comfort zones and helps us grow. Even if the outcome isn't what we expect, the experience itself can be rewarding.

Moving Forward

In the end, facing fears is a journey. Each step, whether successful or not, teaches us something. I may have failed at WORDLE, but I gained insight into my own fears and limitations.

Conclusion

So, if you’re like me and hesitant to try something new, remember: it’s okay to be scared. Embrace the challenge, learn from it, and who knows? You might just surprise yourself.